I’m Going to Be So Productive After This Coffee!

Oh, perky pot of joe, you’re the best beverage, bar none.

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Good morning. Yes, it’s Wednesday, but I have a feeling today is going to be the best day of the week. I have so many plans and there is just no way I’m going to get bogged down by self-doubt, poor dietary choices, or yet another annoying existential crisis. Not today, Satan!

Today is the day I’m going to MAKE IT HAPPEN.

But first I’m going to make a cuppa.

A cuppa tea? Oh, please, no, no, no, no. A cuppa coffee! A little java in the house is just what this morning needs.

Hear that? That’s the sound of the drip drip magic happening right there. Music to my ears.

Oh, now I can smell the precious aroma: nutty, earthy, smoky, and so complex!

I don’t need flavored creamers, syrups or sugars. I‘m a purist. All I need is that blessed liquid gold. Give it to me, mama!!

I’m filling up my favorite mug right now.

See that steam coming off as I pour? Is that the best sight you’ve ever seen? Who needs the Grand Canyon or the Eiffel Tower, when you can lay your eyes on a piping hot cup of coffee?!

There is no better sight to behold. Ohhh… the mug is so warm in my hands.

Now it’s the moment I look forward to all night: The. First. Sip.

There is nothing like it, so hot and delicious, in the morning. IT IS SO GOOD. Oh man, it’s good!

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th sips are damn good too. I love them all!

I’m not ashamed to tell the world, I’m in love with a man and his name is Mister Coffee!

Also, I’m having ongoing affairs with Little Miss French Press and Madame Cold Brew. It’s 2025 and you should know, I’m an open-minded kinda guy.

I’m not going to lie, this wakey wakey juice is DELISH. Like, I could be a barista, if I wanted to. And I haven’t entirely ruled it out. It’s because I grind those magic beans for exactly 12.5 seconds, no more and no less. That there is the secret.

But if there’s one other thing I wish I could tell the world about coffee it’s this: Don’t get distracted after you pour it. Don’t put it down, don’t look at your phone or start a freaking conversation or you’ll miss out on those first few sips when the temperature is PERFECT.

Yum, yum, yum. Spectacular.

See how I never set it back down? Fatal mistake, don’t ever do that. It will ruin your whole day.

Half a cup down, and I can already feel myself becoming more alert – did you hear that? I think it was a robin. Yep, and now I hear a red-winged blackbird. They must be friends. Ain’t life grand?

Now I am truly AWAKE. Every fiber, every molecule of my being is ready for action. Alert and reporting for duty!!

But the first thing I gotta do is finish this cup. And it’s gotta be done within 2½ minutes for optimal results.

I could race a car right now – and win. My reaction times are probably off the charts.

Dear Coffee, you aren’t just the Elixir of Life, you’re the LOVE of my life. No other bean comes close, not pinto, not cannellini, not even cacao beans!

And this is not just “cawfee tawk.” I’m dead serious - but in a light, and jubilantly optimistic way.

That’s the magic of coffee! I even speak New Jersey. In fact, I’m quadrilingual now because I can also tell you, there’s nothing better than un peu de cafe or ein schlückchen kaffee!!

In this moment I truly feel – no, I know, deep in my bones, that the world is my oyster. There are so many possibilities out there, ripe for the taking.

I can feel the caffeine hitting my bloodstream, ready to put some pep in my step on my morning 2-mile walk. Outside is where it’s AT in the morning.

When I get back from my walk, I’ll grab this day by the horns and show it who’s boss: ME, that’s who!

I’ll do a nice workout, meditate, write in my journal, take a shower, make some breakfast, and do my taxes! With the kind of focus coffee gives me I can bang them out in an hour. Then for a quick mental break, I’ll assemble that IKEA LIATORP bookcase that arrived last week. That shouldn’t take long either.

Then, I’ll tackle my primary to-do list, perfectly balanced with tasks supporting my short and long-term goals and chosen from the proper quadrants of Eisenhower’s matrix. There is no time to mess around.

Thanks to the incredible focus coffee gives me, I bet I’ll be able to wrap up by 3 pm, help my elderly neighbor clean out her garage, meet my friends for a happy hour trivia contest, come home, make a lasagna, clean the house, do some laundry, read a book, write down 100 things I’ve grateful for, pray, chant, dance, hum, howl at the moon and, most importantly, set up my coffee maker so it’s ready to use tomorrow morning!

I’m going to DO IT ALL.

But first I’m just going to have a second cup while I take a quick peek at the news.

After that, nothing’s gonna stop me.

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