Should You Try Swedish Death Cleaning or American Bed Rotting?
Figure out which is right for you.
You want to participate in a trending cultural phenomenon tied to a specific nationality and you’ve narrowed it down to either Swedish Death Cleaning or American Bed Rotting – but you can’t decide!
You’re probably asking yourself questions like, what are the advantages of each? Aren’t they similar? What if I’m American?
Let’s look at both to help you decide whether to get cleaning or start rotting today.
Preparation
Swedish Death Cleaning requires you to think about your physical possessions and which ones you’ll leave behind, by planning for your eventual death.
American Bed Rotting requires you to gently relinquish control of nearly everything and think about nothing. It’s about ignoring reality, including everyone and everything around you, while pretending you’re already dead. It’s about giving up on your hopes, dreams, goals, personal hygiene, and, most of all, any agency whatsoever over your life.
Evaluation
In Swedish Death Cleaning, you’re required to evaluate the contents of every room, drawer, and closet in your home and only hold onto items that currently add value to your life, like your collection of every toy offered in McDonald’s Happy Meals since 1997.
But remember, these items should not cause undue stress on family or friends, like if you were to leave behind your ginormous collection of every toy offered in McDonald’s Happy Meals since 1997.
This can be confusing and time-consuming.
American Bed Rotting doesn’t require evaluating anything, including the value, legitimacy, or wisdom of your life choices. In fact, questions of all sorts are highly discouraged, as is having any sustainable worldview or plans for the future.
Ideally, American Bed Rotting shouldn’t include any thoughts. It’s about lying in bed under every blanket you own. The only allowable activity is consuming memes, videos, and advertisements that show up on your phone’s screen.
You want to act like time is a renewable and unending resource you could never possibly run out of, like pollution and bad relationships.