Writing Tips Translated as Life Advice
And, what the heck, an embarrassing, funny story too
Hiya Substack friends!
We’ve made it to April. That deserves to be celebrated — like by sharing an embarrassing story and life advice gleaned from writing tips I picked up at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop.
As I wrote about in my last post, this was the first writing conference or workshop I’ve gone to in 25 years! I’m happy to report that it was truly worthwhile, I met some very nice people, and I had a great time. I also made the 8.5-hour drive home in one piece — miraculously, without any coffee – because this is how much I don’t like stopping at restrooms on road trips!
I wanted to share a bit of the wisdom and advice I learned, but in a way that non-writers might even find useful or interesting. Then I’ll get to the embarrassing (funny) story.
“Don’t reject yourself.” - Author and Book Marketing Expert, Eva Lesko Natiello
I attended a pre-workshop masterclass on self-publishing, where Eva shared the story of her decision to self-publish her first book after being rejected 87 times. She finally decided she didn’t want to be number 88.
She’s since made the New York Times best-seller list and sold over a quarter of a million books! Her story is inspiring to writers and non-writers alike. None of this would have happened if she’d rejected herself by giving up.
So, whatever you want to do in life, don’t be the reason you don’t even try. Say yes to yourself.
“Notice your reactions. Pay attention to yourself.” - Editor, Tiffany Yates Martin
These words were meant to encourage you to see how you experience your writing as a reader, before you start editing. But they’re just as applicable to figuring out what changes you need to make in your life.
Pay attention to how your story feels. What activities or decisions bring joy, and which make you miserable? (I’m looking at you, endless scroll!) Where do you get bored? Where do you feel unsatisfied? You need to answer these questions before doing anything else. Then cut out the boring or unsatisfying parts that aren’t necessary. (This, unfortunately, isn’t applicable to filing your taxes.)
“Start in a state of playfulness.” - Cartoonist, Bob Eckstein, and humor writer, Mark Shatz
In humor writing, a first draft requires freedom and a willingness to write badly. Some call it using your “clown brain.”
However, this is actually a requirement for trying anything new. You don’t need to win your first pickleball game. And if you don’t win, it doesn’t mean you can never become good — or even great — at pickleball. Lower the bar, so you can be free to try. Then see where it takes you.
To me, this is the antidote to our productivity culture, which can make us feel that if an activity doesn’t garner “results” — whether this be praise, money, or status — then it isn’t worth it. That’s false and limiting.
Sometimes it’s good to get out of your comfort zone and do the things that scare you.
This was not a quote, but the result of my decision to attend a session after lunch on Saturday without reading the full description! As soon as it began and I realized it was going to be highly interactive, I wanted to bail. Fortunately, I didn’t, because it ended up being super helpful and fun.
It was a good reminder that while it’s easy to hide, occasionally stepping out of our comfort zone can help us address our weaknesses in ways that staying in it never will.
“Your readers’ time is a gift.” - Humor writer, Wendi Aarons
Wendi was talking about avoiding long setups when writing humorous essays. Exclude extraneous info and get right into it! However, this is just as applicable when thinking about the time your friends and family give you. Appreciate it. Don’t waste it. Get off your phone during in-person interactions.
As my grandma used to say, “Your presence is the very best present of them all.”
We act like our attention is free, but it’s actually very valuable. And once spent, we can never get it back. Respect that for yourself, the people you spend time with, and, if you’re a writer, your readers. (Yes, this is a firm argument against publishing AI slop!)
“Humor is a mode of interpreting the truth.” - Novelist and screenwriter, Steven Rowley
I hope I remember this correctly. I didn’t take notes during the keynotes after the meals, but this one stuck with me, because I like it and I agree. Humor is a choice. Some situations are truly humorless, but a great many can benefit from a bit of humor.
For instance, there was the time we came in from the backyard and discovered the powder room toilet had been transformed into a fountain fit for the Bellagio, thanks to a broken septic pipe. Oh, there was a lot of laughing that day. Did it fix the toilet? No. But it wouldn’t have been fixed any faster without it. And, as is so often the case, laughing kept us sane in the meantime.
Be Awkward, So You’ll Never Run Out of Reasons to Laugh
You don’t truly know how awkward you are until you exclusively spend time with a bunch of strangers. In which case, it becomes much harder to fool yourself into thinking you have it together.
To illustrate exactly what I mean, here’s the story of the first ten minutes I spent socializing last weekend:
A glance in the mirror of my hotel room before walking down to the opening cocktail hour at the precise minute, two of my online friends, Julie and Caroline, who I’d never met in person, promised to be there. No awkward standing around alone for me!
As soon as I walk in, like clockwork, I see Caroline at the bar – as I attempt to order a drink with no money. I ask if I can charge it to the room. No. I realize I must go back to my room, get my debit card, and find an ATM, because I have not carried cash since 2019.
As I am exiting the cocktail hour, I nearly run into the second online friend, Julie Vick, and inexplicably say much too loudly, “Oh, HI, VICKIE!”
I knew that as soon as it came out of my mouth, I’d combined her first and last names to give her an unintended nickname. I immediately apologized, and she graciously acted like it happens all the time (I doubt it) before I said I’d be right back.
Imagine a middle-aged woman speedwalking down a hotel corridor, unable to stop laughing.
This was me.
At least, I thought, I’m in a place where people appreciate humor. Maybe laughing to yourself is cool here?
Got the card, got cash from the lobby ATM, and headed back to the cocktail party. Bought a glass of white wine, because I did not, at this point, trust that I would not spill a glass of red wine all down my outfit and look like I’d been stabbed.
Finally rejoined Julie and Caroline, who were speaking to a few other attendees.
It was not long after introductions and a few niceties were exchanged that I realized this cocktail hour was taking place in a veritable SWEAT LODGE.
But why, pray tell, did it seem I was the only one feeling the suffocating heat? Everyone else seemed comfortable and composed. Meanwhile, I had sprouted a sweat mustache that insisted on growing back every 6 seconds after I wiped it off.
Was it nerves? More importantly, was it obvious?
I tried to take a few slow breaths and follow the conversation, even offering a few comments and questions here and there.
If this was the precise moment my HRT decided to quit on me, that really was some unfortunate timing, but I knew from experience that if it was a hot flash, it would pass; I had to just wait it out.
It was at this moment that the woman standing to my left said my name (protecting her anonymity, and also I blocked out her name) and leaned in to whisper something.
Dear reader, since this was a humor writing workshop, I was guessing it was going to be a joke.
Instead, she said, “Umm, your shirt is on inside out.”
I looked down. Was it? Honestly, it was hard to tell. I told her, I think that might just be the style. And then she said, “The tag is on the back.”
What do you do in moments such as these?
I mean, besides continuing to sweat.
I contemplated leaving it as it was, but the informant seemed uncomfortable at this point. After I finished my glass of wine, I figured I’d check it out.
I excused myself and went to the restroom, where I promptly told another stranger I’d been informed my shirt was inside out. She leaned in to check and confirmed, yes, it was.
It was at this point that the uncontrollable laughter began again.
Perhaps the biggest lesson of all is that being able to laugh at yourself is a necessity.
Did you recently have an embarrassing, but funny experience? I’d love to hear it!
I met so many nice people and great writers last weekend! Links above to those on Substack. I especially enjoyed meeting and chatting with the super sweet and prolific Liz Alterman, but of course didn’t think to take a photo. (Hi Liz!)
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It was so great to meet you! This is such a fantastic recap! I could absolutely see the inside-out shirt happening to me. And I remember needing cash when I was there in 2024. (This time I arrived with a whopping $30!) Love the “Vicky”- and spending time with Julie, too. I hope we get to hang out again soon! 💕
I wanted to go this year but got closed out and wound up doing home schooling instead. Next time!