Graduation Announcements We’d All Love to See

From people saying out loud what we’re all thinking.

Sure, every graduation is an important milestone and each degree is an accomplishment worth celebrating, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be honest about how we really feel right now — and what it took to get there!

There are no artists more prolific than those under the age of 5. So many pieces of art and so little room on the fridge to hang it all!

These parents wonder how long they must hold onto this vast collection of finger paintings. Will Saylor notice if they only keep 2 of the primary color-themed ones? Sadly, they suspect whichever paintings they toss will be the ones she’ll randomly remember and ask to see again.

Does anyone have an extra storage bin?

This is the invitation these parents would make if they thought through what they were doing.

As a wise woman once said, if you set the bar too high too early, eventually you’ll fall on your face trying to reach it.

And then what?

These big parties can make other parents feel inadequate, but Dylan would have been just as happy going out for an ice cream cone to celebrate. So, why not enjoy all that money you aren’t spending instead?

The principal at this elementary school loves her job, but she’s also a parent who knows all too well from personal experience what comes next.

Parenting is about to get… different.

Some may not agree this is good to share — or the appropriate time to share it. But she’s simply telling others what she wishes someone had had the nerve to tell her because it’s true.

Like many other parents, this couple bought a square in the Move Up Day program to tell their son how much they love him.

But unlike other parents, they also spent their $20 in the hope of no longer needing to be a human alarm clock with a built-in snooze button.

Not sure, but they might be geniuses.

It’s hard to answer the question “Why do I have to learn this?” when it’s clear to your teen that you don’t know any of the material some classes cover.

Like, none at all.

In the pre-internet days, it’s hard to fathom how parents coped. By hiring tutors? Reading the textbooks themselves to refresh their (distant) memory?

These parents luckily discovered YouTube instructional videos. By watching them on the sly, their daughter never had to know that they had no idea of the relationship between force, energy, and power or the difference between congruent and similar figures!

These parents now wish they had been more involved in helping their daughter choose a major and plan for a future career. But she was just so happy at school, they didn’t worry.

She loved that semester in Ireland!

The good news is she also had two minors. The bad news is they are in creative writing and basketweaving.

No one knows what all this will lead to, but they hope it’s self-sufficiency by age 30. The future looks as tricky to navigate as a Celtic maze. They need a lot of wine.

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You don’t want to keep the humor to yourself, do you?

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Hello Substack Friends,

It’s graduation weekend around here. There seems to be a wide range of responses to these milestones.

And some things that are now considered milestones used to just be, you know, middle school ending or the last day of kindergarten…

But, hey, a party is rarely a bad idea!

And in case you missed last Saturday’s post, I made the funny bumper stickers available for sale! They come in lots of finishes and sizes. Some of them are going on my laptop, which is where all the cool kids now display their sticker collections. Or so I am told.

Visit the Humor in the Middle store on RedBubble to check them out.

Thanks so much for reading Humor in the Middle!

Jen