But in all honesty, there’s something sad about people who try so desperately to look decades younger than they are. I feel sorry for them. This has gotten so much worse in the social media age.
You forgot about how you need to set up camp in a forest and on a full moon's day take a naked dip in the pond after which you howl at the moon for 15 seconds in intervals of 22 seconds. You do this 15 times. This is really the secret ingredient. You're welcome.
I’m enjoying reading your hilarious writing right before I go to bed. Laughed a lot about looking hot!! Wonder how laughter effects dreams! Thank you for light hearted sleep!
You forgot to add: you must spend all waking hours when you are not injecting your face with fillers, exercising, or applying 18 snail mucus based lotions researching how to do all these things. If you’re not on 20 subreddits dedicated to the perimenopausal glow up, are you even living?
I smear Vaseline all over my face at night and paint my purple eye hammocks with cakey concealer during the day. It doesn’t work, I look like shit, but it’s cheap, so.
Solid gold!! 😂😂
Thanks, Brodee!
HA HA HA! At first when I saw the headline, I was like "WTF?" and then I read the article. LOL.
I love this comment, Anne! hahaha
Oh, and don’t forget face taping! And rubber bands around your ears. Botox is totes out, but lymphatic drainage is in!
I think they invent something new we should be doing weekly! How does anyone keep up?!
I need a “but with nipples” bumper sticker
Great read, thanks Jennifer, on the basis of what I've read up till now I will definitely be reading all your other writings very funny
I'm glad. Thanks so much!
I forwarded this to my wife 🤣
But in all honesty, there’s something sad about people who try so desperately to look decades younger than they are. I feel sorry for them. This has gotten so much worse in the social media age.
I agree. But the pressure is real!
Hysterical. Thanks so much
Thanks for reading and commenting, Carolyn!
I agree with the not staying out after 9:30 part.
Same. Mostly. With exceptions. Like last night.
I’m nailing the caffeine and tears of desperation! 😂 this entire piece is so funny, thank you for the laughs!
Me too, I got that part down. Thanks, Liz!
You forgot about how you need to set up camp in a forest and on a full moon's day take a naked dip in the pond after which you howl at the moon for 15 seconds in intervals of 22 seconds. You do this 15 times. This is really the secret ingredient. You're welcome.
Great read! :)
This made me laugh out loud. Thank you!
I’m enjoying reading your hilarious writing right before I go to bed. Laughed a lot about looking hot!! Wonder how laughter effects dreams! Thank you for light hearted sleep!
You forgot to add: you must spend all waking hours when you are not injecting your face with fillers, exercising, or applying 18 snail mucus based lotions researching how to do all these things. If you’re not on 20 subreddits dedicated to the perimenopausal glow up, are you even living?
I smear Vaseline all over my face at night and paint my purple eye hammocks with cakey concealer during the day. It doesn’t work, I look like shit, but it’s cheap, so.
I can not stay up that late. But thanks, Scott!