27 Comments
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Switter’s World's avatar

I’m from freaking Idaho. It’s true we have potatoes, but we also have potato salad, French fries, vodka, tater tots, potatoes au gratin, baked potatoes, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, dehydrated potatoes, potato bread, potato stix, potato chips, loaded baked potato skins, hash browns. There’s much more, but why continue? It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Seriously, there’s no comparison!

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Jeff Darnell's avatar

Funny spudsy stuff!

There is nothing that is equally satisfying or frustrating when you pick the string to pull open the five pound bag with a single unraveling or a knotted mess. Sewing and eating, a perfect mix of home economics.

Love the nod to George😀

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Lee Bacon's avatar

I'll never look at a potato the same way again. Thank you for opening my eyes to the plight of the potato.

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Thank you for acknowledging their suffering!

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Liza Blue's avatar

Love tater tots - have served them for an appetizer with different dipping sauces. Keep looking for a “gourmet” version of tots - tots embedded with herbs or cheese, etc, but so far tots haven’t shaken off their humble roots. At the other end of the spectrum, why aren’t tots a staple of the fast food menu?

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

I don’t know! Drive-through tater tots sound amazing.

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Nick Gregory's avatar

The potato is a good and honorable food and I'm so happy to see someone has the guts sing its praises

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Joseph Noland's avatar

Great and funny. I needed that.

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Thanks so much for reading and letting me know, Joseph!

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Matt Pincott's avatar

Somebody is getting roasted for this one.

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Mmm, roasted.

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Allen Kwon's avatar

I didn’t come here to cry over potatoes… but here we are. RESPECT THE SPUD. 🫡

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Barb Eler's avatar

Thanks for the funny potato perspective! I’m a fan of sweet potatoes. Your writing inspires me to look up recipes for different ways to cook them!

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Melissa Dawn Goldsmith's avatar

Thank you for the laugh. It was much needed. No fun with O'Brien, though. :)

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Thanks for reading and commenting, Melissa!

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Mitch Hedberg did a funny bit on baking potatoes

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

I'll have to look for that. Apparently, I have a thing for potato humor.

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

I recently learned from Abbey Wade that potatoes can be mailed directly through the USPS without any kind of envelope or container. Coconuts too, apparently. I mean, how badass is that, to go rawdogging through the US postal system? Suck on that, carrots!

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Oh man, if only I'd known, I could have worked that into this piece! Potatoes are so badass!! haha

Also, kinda want to try it.

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

Hahah wouldn’t it be amazing to start a potato-based IRL version of a chain mail game? Substackers send a potato through the mail and you have to send it on within 5 days or a curse will befall your entire family.

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Switter’s World's avatar

Also, suck on that, mushrooms and peaches.

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

Haha

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Did you know you used to also be able to mail children? (this is not a joke)

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Amazon Anne's avatar

Ha ha ha ha. 🤣

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